Finding peace in a pandemic

Two posts in a day? Absolute madness! The man is clearly unstable and needs to be sectioned as a matter of urgency!

Well, until they come and take me away to my luxury padded cell, I'll keep typing. Maybe I'll get it done before they get here.

I was really lucky to listen to a talk from someone who I really respect this morning on finding peace in a pandemic, and it's a topic I've been thinking about a lot myself recently. It left me really thoughtful and inspired, and so I knew that I wanted to write something about it as soon as possible, in what is quickly becoming my very public online diary.

There's not a lot to find peace and solace in at the moment. Turn on the TV and you'll be lucky to avoid COVID-19 getting a mention. Switch to the news and you'll be even luckier to watch a single story that isn't about the pandemic. Talk to those around you and you'll be the luckiest person on earth to avoid the virus sneaking its way in conversation. If I had to sum up the global pandemic in two words, I would go for "not ideal." And that's without a certain orange-skinned powerful fool spouting nonsense about injecting bleach and actual light into ourselves. But that's a point for another day.

All that combined means that the situation we're in right now is really toxic to our mental health. I know from my experience that I've struggled to remain positive and see any light amongst all the darkness, and I know that many people who previously seemed to find themselves in a much better place mentally have opened up to me about facing new struggles in this period, like anxiety attacks and intense, prolonged sadness that just won't shift. When people used to tell me they "knew what I was going through," I would mentally rebuke them. No you don't! You don't have any idea! You spend 99% of your time in some kind of unicorn rainbow paradise! 

But that's untrue and unfair. Years of watching people and learning about them has taught me that no-one is happy all of the time, and anyone who seems that way is likely to be putting on an act. I've never believed that my struggle is worse than anyone else's - I've always known that there are many, many people who suffer a lot more than I do, and that always humbles me. But I've often struggled to accept that someone "knows what I'm going through," because they're not me! They don't live my life! The ONLY person who knows what I'm going through is me! Luckily, life is a long sequence of going through experiences, learning mistakes, and trying to stop them happening again, and somewhere on that journey, I've come to realise that maybe people don't know exactly what I'm going through, and vice versa. But they're trying to understand, to make sense of it. When they "know what you're going through," they're saying, "this is difficult. I hear you. I care about you." And THAT, my friends, is a game-changer, because that simple realisation has such amazing consequences.

So now, when people say "I know what you're going through," I take it so much better, and I find actual peace in it, because I see the beauty of humanity in that moment. That drive to understand, to love and to care about someone. It reminds me that in a time where nothing is normal, nothing seems safe from the never-ending global pandemic, I am still human, and I'm still part of something much bigger than any one person. And no amount of illness or fake-tanned skin can take that away from me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with some very kind people and some very strong sedatives, so I'll see you later. Ciao.

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