Everything starts somewhere, even if it looks like a mess

At long last, and with the help from one of my closest friends, I have overcome some of my huge anxiety, and I'm writing a blog. I find it quite liberating that I might throw this out there and no-one will read it. No bars have been set, I can say what I like. Screw you anxiety, you don't get to win this time, get back in your hole.

Anyway. WELCOME. If you made it here, I have to question what life choices led you to this point, but nonetheless, WELCOME. I don't really know what this blog will be yet. At time of writing, coronavirus has come to the UK and social distancing measures are in place, which is an interesting time to be alive. It's not the way I expected to start a new decade, that much is for sure. Nonetheless, life goes on, and a big thing which I'll be doing is making sure that I look out for the people I know, especially the most vulnerable but even those who might seem "stronger." We're all only human at the end of the day, and we're all fallible to getting anxious and sad and affected by the isolation. But we're also a part of one big community, and that means that at the most basic level, I feel that we have a responsibility to help one another be the best we can be. Sounds preachy, I know - please forgive me, I don't want to be taking on any 'holier-than-thou' attitude!

Seeing as this is my first post. so I wanted to put a little bit about me and what my plan is here [initially, I used a pen name, but I've stripped away my anonymity lmao] This is a safe space for me, and I want to feel free to be comfortable with it. When I write about the people close to me, I'll be changing their names too - I don't plan to be out there throwing shade, but I want them to feel safe too 😊

Secondly, I don't know for sure where this blog will end up, or if I'll even manage to keep it up beyond a single post! But I suffer with quite severe depression and anxiety, so it's pretty likely that imma end up being quite emotional and honest here. In day-to-day life, I struggle to talk to even my closest friends about what's going on in my head because I feel like I don't deserve it. So behind the safety of some anonymity, I'm hoping that I might be able to slowly start changing that. 

It's not all sad tho! I'm hoping to be able to start sharing some real positivity here alongside the more real stuff, because one lesson I've learned over the last few years is that light and darkness depend on each other - without the darkness, you can't recognise the light, and vice versa. It's important to remember that things can be bad sometimes, but they won't always be that way, even when it really seems like it.

I'm not sure where I'm going with the rest of this, so I'm going to leave it here. Maybe keeping it short will encourage me to come back. Maybe people will read this and then never come back. Who knows? Neither you nor I. Ta-ta for now my dears x

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